Comrade Rodriguez Speaks
07Mar08
Blood alone moves the Wheels of History, comrades! The blood of Michigan football is your dated approach, the rotting corpse of your competitive nature! I have come, to slay the inertia holding your program back and allow it to run free like a Turk on the steppe!
Despair not, our previous regimes have been discarded and thrown to the curb like so many pieces of trash in front of a trailer. I care nothing for your gentlemen’s agreements, your disdain of “communist” football, nor your petty objections to my occasionally skeptical behavior! Some have said I am a wizard- I will neither confirm nor deny these suspicions- only say that my enemies will fear me and tremble before my power.
It has been brought to my attention that our enemies to the south, to the west, and even within our own state have designs upon our downfall and extinction! These barbarous hordes, unrefined as they are, do still bring talent and ferocious attitudes against our way of life. But fear nothing loyal comrades, for I AM A CONQUEROR!
I desire an enemy with the bravery of a bill collector in Morgantown, with the fierce nature of a disgruntled newspaper columnist- because only with these formidable challenges can we savor the true joy of victory in the battlefield!
Comrades, we will be too much to defend. Too quick, ubiquitous, and agile an enemy for our foes to come to grips with. You will watch our Maize and Blue clad young heroes drift down the field as if attached to a rocket scooter, humbling the incompetent masses with their gifts and desire.
And you will be proud.
The Revolution is NOW. Will you share in prosperity, or will you perish in the MLive gulag of idiocy and negativity? Do your part for the glorious revival of MICHIGAN!
Coach Rod’s methods may not be pretty, but he makes the trains run on time.
RR stands up at the annual Big Ten coaches’ meeting, removes new Adidas cross trainer, bangs it on podium:
“We will bury you!!”
He follows that with accusing Tiller of being a Jew because of that mustache.
Dex,
Bravo!!!
you are the Whitney Houston to my Bobby Brown…
The Guitar to my Drum….
The Melody to my Rap….
We’re the new generation gsimms