Double Dash
STEVIE_brWONDER: dude you always pick donkey kong
Tugboat_Terrence: fuck yes i do. and u always pick that fuckin waluigi. i dont even know who that bitch is
STEVIE_brWONDER: he’s a misunderstood outcast and you should recognize his potent symbolism
Tugboat_Terrence: yea kinda like kong represents my ability to wreck bitches
STEVIE_brWONDER: have you even considered the racist implications of that statement?
Threet_Level_Midnite: but if he picked bowser it’d have the same meaning – except now he’s a green lizard instead of an ape, so would it be less racist? isn’t it more racist to base your judgment on the color of the video game avatar he picks?
Threet_Level_Midnite: all things considered a barrel throwing monkey is a lot cooler than an authoritarian lizard with a predilection for kidnapping the same princess over and over.
MinorPayne: what the fuck, donkey kong kidnapped the princess too you idiot.
STEVIE_brWONDER: true but he only took over a construction site. that’s far less tyrannical than enslaving an entire kingdom of midget queers like toad.
Threet_Level_Midnite: what possible evidence do you have that toad is gay?
Tugboat_Terrence: are we gonna fuckin play this
Tugboat_Terrence: i got a hot pocket in the george foreman and its gonna burn this fuckin hacienda down in like 9 minutes
STEVIE_brWONDER: can i drive this time terrence or what, I’m sick of standing on the back of the car the whole race
Tugboat_Terrence: fuck no
MinorPayne: i ain’t playing star road. i can’t stay on the fuckin track.
**UMichFrosh12** has entered the room
UMichFrosh12: You guys have got to be kidding me!
MinorPayne: who is this bitch
Threet_Level_Midnite: I think he lives down the hall
UMichFros12: Are you seriously playing double dash? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, practicing? YOU FUCKING SUCK!
STEVIE_brWONDER: damn that’s cold
Tugboat_Terrence: shit dawg i musta missed u out there today while barwis was throwing twinkies across the field and laughin and laughin when i ran after them for forty five minutes
STEVIE_brWONDER: or when i had to tackle every single player three times before we could go home
Threet_Level_Midnite: or when rich made me cry during film
MinorPayne: fuck man i don’t even wanna talk about the fumble wolf
UMichFrosh12: Well maybe you should practice more still! IT’S EMBARRASSING TO ME!
Incarcerated_Butler: Yo
MinorPayne: sup carson
Incarcerated_Butler: who this
UMFrosh12: you suck too!
Incarcerated_Butler: yo skinny u seen my iron
UMFrosh12: No..?
Incarcerated_Butler: o thats right i got it right here
***Incarcerated_Butler has hit UMFrosh12 with an iron***
Tugboat_Terrence: nice
Threet_Level_Midnite: awww check it out bitches I got a blue shell you are going DOWN
MinorPayne: DUDE
MinorPayne: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SHOOT THAT DIRECTLY INTO THE WALL I DIDNT THINK IT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE TO MISS WITH THAT
Threet_Level_Midnite: I just hit the button? I don’t know, man! I DON’T KNOW!
Tugboat_Terrence: dawg we about to win u better not fuck up
STEVIE_brWONDER: i’m a great driver
Tugboat_Terrence: did u seriously just spin out for no reason in front of the finish line and lose
Tugboat_Terrence: like did that seriously happen
STEVIE_brWONDER: i need a hug
Incarcerated_Butler: who wants to go rob blue front wit me

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