We understand that our fellow Revolutionaries have a thirst for Zima and knowledge regarding the future recruiting targets of Comrade Rodriguez.  To quench that thirst, the WLA has tapped into our vast network of informants and sent numerous Revolutionaries into the field to scour the country to seek our future gridiron soldiers. We have taken extreme measures to identify, qualify, and rank the future recruits and present the single most important recruit for each of the classes during Comrade Rodriguez’s leadership of our football team.

We present to you, our Very Mostest Critical Recruits By Class:  Part II  (2015 – 2019) (Link to Part I)

Recruiting Class – 2015 (6th Grade):  Amaguq “The Wolf” Harper (OLB / 5’3″ / 86 lbs / 6.20-40 / Nome (Nome-Beltz Junior High School), AK)

A fast pursuer and tenacious tackler with a near mythical ability to shed blockers and bring down opponents.  Tackling ability has been honed by chasing and subduing young caribou on the Alaskan tundra.  Amaguq is a decedent of Inuits, and his recruitment will offer Michigan a means to offset the Samoans being recruited by USC and the Pac-10 schools.  A great teammate and locker room guy with a flair for practical jokes.  Also, a favorite of Mike Barwis.

YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM*: Troy Polamalu (USC, Paul Mitchell Hair Care Products)

Coach’s take: Wolf both FERAL and also good keep coach WARM at beddy-bye.

Saturday Afternoon

Saturday Night

Recruiting Class – 2016 (5th Grade):  Shinobi “Silent Death” Ito (Slot Receiver / 4’7″ / 73 lbs / 6.12-40 / Koka, Japan)

While lacking experience in football, Shinobi is a master in the Japanese martial art of ninjutsu.  Quiet, agile, sneaky and lightning fast, Shinobi represents the ultimate weapon out of the slot receiver position.  Additionally, he is extremely stylish decked out in all black.  There are potential pitfalls to signing Mr. Ito as he may have legal issues with the numerous deaths that are likely to occur in his presence, his tendency to “disappear” for periods of time while he is decimating the opposition’s special teams units by slicing the ligaments in the back of their knees, and the difficulty in interviewing him as he refuses to speak.

YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM: Antonio Bass (Michigan) (The king of stealth — tell me how many times you actually saw him?)

Coach’s take: ACTUAL NINJA playing NINJA FOOTBALL make good IRONY.  Like meeting MAN of DREAMS AND BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

New Adidas Uniforms?

Recruiting Class – 2017 (4th Grade):  Rhett Rodriguez (QB / 4’8″ / 90 lbs / 7.07-40 / Saline (Harvest Elementary School), MI)

Projected to be a three year starter for Saline High School with a great mind for the game, but a surprising lack of physical tools with an overall record of 18-12.  The young man makes up for his lack of arm strength and top end speed with grit, determination, and… grit.  The son of Rich Rodriguez is a surprisingly important recruit given his 2* guru ratings, as the idea of him signing with in-state rivals Michigan State or Eastern Michigan would provide far too much material for Drew Sharp, Jr. and Michelle Albom to imply a lack of “family values.”  He will likely be a preferred walk-on, aided by the fact that as a child of a University employee, he gets reduced tuition rates and will become the best coaches son QB at Michigan behind Jason Carr.

YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM: Nick Sheridan (Michigan, Walk-on QB from Saline, Death Kitten)

Coach’s take: Coach Rodriguez pass on good GENES for FOOTBALL and MALE PATTERN BALDNESS.

This Can All Be Yours, My Son

Recruiting Class – 2018 (3rd Grade):  One’Keese and Tu’Keese Richardson (CB / 4’7″ / 55 lbs / 6.21-40 / Pahokee (Pahokee Elementary School), FL)

The younger cousins of 2009 Tennesse recruit WR Nu’Keese Richardson.  The twins possess unparalleled speed and work ethic among the 2018 recruits.  This has been demonstrated by their adherence to a Barwis designed workout regiment handed down to them by the original Pahokee-to-Ann Arbor pipeline members, Martavious Odoms, Vincent Smith and Brandin Hawthorne.  The recruiting battle is thought to include Michigan, Florida and USC.  Even though it has been eight years since Lane Kiffin was fired at Tennessee, no UT coaches are allowed to recruit at Pahokee because as stated by Pahokee Head Football Coach, Blaze Thompson “If they were dumb enough to hire Kiffin, the next guy can’t be any better.”  Should Coach Rodriguez win this recruiting battle, we at the WLA look forward to the inevitably stupid arguments put forth by some blog commentors along the lines of “with two lock down corners, each takng away half of the field, no one will be able to pass on us!!!!11!!1″

YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM: one is Deion Sanders and the other is Charles Woodson, but we can’t tell them apart (Florida State / Michigan / Twins )

Coach’s take:  TWINS movie stars not only ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, but also DANNY DEVITO.  YAKETY YAK, no E-TALK back.

Twins

Recruiting Class – 2019 (2nd Grade):  Titia Ninkovich (DE / 4’5″ / 69 lbs / 7.93-40 / Ulyanovsk, Russia)

The only child of Vladimir Kerplinko, a potato farmer in the rural area surrounding Ulyanovsk, Russia.  Titia’s mother, Nadia, died during child birth leaving the hard working farmer Vladimir with no sons to aid in his labor on the farm.  As a result, Titia has become her father’s farm hand.  The exhausting labor of manually picking potatoes has not only developed Titia’s powerful core, but also taught her how to keep her pad level low, causing her to be an unstoppable force coming off of the edge.  Tatia wishes to study in the US to learn to enhance the notoriously low potato crop yields of her father’s farm and the other farms in the central Volga River Valley.  The schools aggressively recruiting the young DE are OSU, MSU, Illinois and Idaho.   Each school possesses a significant agricultural school and is offering to house her mule, Pavel, thus placing Michigan at a disadvantage.  Also of great importance to the Revolution, Titia shares a hometown with Vladimir Ulyanov, better known as Lenin.

YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM: Craig Roh (Michigan, Pad Level)

Coach’s Take:  Ideal woman need LOVER’S TOUCH AND be built like BRICK SHIT HOUSE.

Pad Level, Pad Level, Pad Level!!

* YMRMFSPATGIYAAOAJM == You May Remember Me From Such Players As This Guy If You Are As Old As Jamie Mac