Hail Comrades!

Today we speak of the lurking green horde on our borders – the band of “warriors”, as they call themselves who’s profession is nothing more than to finish 7-5 for perpetuity. Yet, friends, these philistines – these “Spartans”, handed a bone of meager success, feel that they may thwart the growing Revolution in Ann Arbor. Far more insidious, comrades, are their means. They do not seek to conquer us merely on the field of play – they seek to conquer us in the court of public opinion. For weeks and months, the Spartan-infiltrated media has spread lies – lies of the Revolution, of our training regimen, and exaggerations of mindless minutiae.

But comrades, remember:  those who thought that monopoly over  the Free Press, those who thought that spreading lies and slander right and left, would let them weaken our revolution and discredit our allies, so that they could then leap upon it when it was weak, were mistaken, for the revolution today is more solid and stronger. Instead of weakening it they have strengthened it. The revolution is not intimidated by attacks. The revolution is not weakened by attacks. On the contrary, it waxes and gains strength, for this is the revolution of a valiant, fighting people.

While East Lansing houses a program a program in turmoil, one twisting in the wind, while East Lansing houses an egotistical blowhard, nobody has attacked it; these press campaigns have not been waged against it abroad, Free Press columnists haven’t spoken out to censure it. While East Lansing housed a convict guilty of bludgeoning a fellow student, these campaigns were not waged against East Lansing, or against him. While it houses an “adult” coach who insults college students to the media, and takes barely disguised shots at our Revolution, these campaigns were not waged against East Lansing in the Michigan Media. While dozens of lines of cocaine were being snorted; while petulant players were guarding their fifty yard-line from their comuppance; while the team failed to MAKE PLAYS; while clock-operators stole games; while alumni shot themselves in the leg; when countdown clocks were installed; when our loss was deemed as sweet as their own victory; when coaches committed acts of self-loathing before the press corps itself, these campaigns were not waged against East Lansing, nor did the press corps speak up to condemn the program.

But there is no need to go further. There you have Dantonio with his convict running back; a track-record of bad-mouthing opposing players and programs; and an obsession with our Revolution that dwarfs his concern for his own team. And no campaigns are organized against them.

But a campaign against the Wolverine Revolution? Yes. Because we seek to be free. Free not only of the monotony of the pro-set, run-first offense, but of the tyranny of the reign of white-only quarterbacks and of coaches without ethnic-sounding names. A campaign against our revolution because we have become a dangerous example for the rest of the Big 10. A campaign agsint our revolution because they know that we are going to spread-option them to death, because they know that little-recruited electron-sized slot-ninja’s will not only dice their defenses to pieces but also lay devestating blocks on their defensive secondaries, because they know, Comrades, that the days of Dantonio’s paleolithic offense are done.

There, comrades, you have the chief cause of this campaign. Why, comrades, days before our our victory against the Western Broncos, did the media loose a barrage of defamation against the Wolverine Revolution? The purpose is clear: Our revolution is model of revolution – one that leaves the schemes, egos, and aspiration of lesser coaches like Mark Dantonio crushed, bleeding, and dying by the wayside. For this, comrades, is a revolution. And a revolution must become a cold, killing machine motivated by pure hate.

Now, comrades, we have the opportunity – to send the reeling Spartan program, tenuously grasping at relevance spriraling off this mortal coil; to force them to once again guard their fifty-yard line lest a stake be driven through their misguided aspirations for a conference championship. Mark Dantonio once cautioned that “Pride comes before the fall”. Dantonio had better get himself a parachute.

Hasta la victoria siempre!