Online Host: ***Welcome to INDIAN REMOVAL Chat***

PatrickKanein09:So anyway, Winnie, you guys have to back the fuck off our land. Does Chief Blackhawk have to rain thunder on you?

OleFussnFeathers: Keep talking, red-man. Can I interest you in some blankets?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: Ah hah!  ‘Tis I! Your most formidable rival!

PatrickKanein09: Wut?

OleFussnFeathers: Is he talking to you?

PatrickKanein09: I don’t know who the fuk this guy is.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: We have been sowing the seeds of our discontent for decades, and now YOU SHALL FEEL OUR WRATH!!!

OleFussnFeathers: I don’t know who you are.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget:I am the great Chief Illiniwek! Leader of the proud Illini people! You, Mr. Scott, your people have squatted on my lands for too long! PREPARE FOR DOOM!!!!

OleFussnFeathers: I’m on ur landz?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: Uh, I mean…YOU – CHIEF BLACKHAWK! You have been stirring up a hornet’s nest of unwanted Federal Government intervention on our lands all because YOU feel you weren’t consulted. YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!!!

PatrickKanein09: Chief Illiniwek? Dude, you’re not even real.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: YOU SHALL…wait. What?

PatrickKanein09: Check Wikipedia, douche. “Chief Illiniwek is not based on an actual American Indian chief, nor did a historical figure with this name ever exist.”

OleFussnFeathers: LOL, PWNED.

OleFussnFeathers:

PatrickKanein09: So, Winnie, anyway – we’ll meet at Bad Axe?

***CHAT ENDED***

***WELCOME TO SLOTS & SLUTS CHAT***

OscarMeyer: So it’s settled, then. With the creation of the Flamingo, all gambling interests in the state of Nevada will fall under the purview of Mr. Siegal, here.

BugsyBunny: Damn right.

OscarMeyer:You shall be permitted entrance to the market, but you must permit Mr. Siegal to, ah, “dip his beak”, as it were. You shall own all gambling rights on your ancestral lands.

LastoftheMohegans: I’m only like 1/16 Mohegan on my father’s side. But yeah, MY tribal lands. Deal.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: AH HAH! ‘Tis I! Your most formidable rival!

LastoftheMohegans: What’s that shit on your head? Put a damn suit on, man.

BugsyBunny: You want me to get rid of this guy, boss?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: I have come, the fictional symbol of a PROUD PEOPLE to claim what is ours! Too long has our wealth been split between others! WE HAVE COME TO CLAIM WHAT IS OURS!!!

OscarMeyer: Our largest rival? Which of the families has sent you?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget:I come from the Illiniwek! We have come to claim that which is ours!

BugsyBunny:The Illiniwek? They ain’t even a tribe, buddy.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: YES! KNEEL BE…huh?

LastoftheMohegans: The Illiniwek aren’t a tribe. It’s just a loose grouping of twelve to thirteen tribes that lived in the same area and spoke the same language, so the French gave them the same name, because they couldn’t tell the tribes apart. The term literally means “those who speak in the ordinary way”. You’re like Tonto, bro – a creation of the white man.

OscarMeyer: Sic burn.

BugsyBunny:

BugsyBunny: OK, the slots are spoken for. Now about the sluts.

MalletsaurusRex: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU FAGS ARE TALKING ABOUT BUT I BANG SLUTS ALL DAY.

OscarMeyer: Now who the fuck is this guy?

***CHAT ENDED***

***WELCOME TO RIVALRY CHATROOM***

TRADITION97: Oh god, we better beat the Buckeyes this year, I don’t even know if I can take another year of the Vest, and the Maker’s Mark Signs, and…I just can’t even think of it.

PurplePeopleEaters: It’ll be OK, man. Just promise to sell out our stadium next time you visit, no matter how you do, K?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: AH HAH! ‘Tis I! Your most hated rival!

TRADITION97: Dude, Buckeyes wear Scarlet and Grey. What’s this orange and blue shit?

EtTueBrute: I don’t know this guy.

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: I am not a Buckeye! We fight them in blood-fued for the beloved Illi-Buck Trophy!

EtTuBrute: That fucking turtle thing?

Tradition97: Not a Buckeye…do I need to bring my couch inside?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: Not a Sparty.

Tradition97: Hide my lunch from your coach?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: Not a Domer.

Tradition97: Hide my water jug?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: YOU DARE CONFUSE ME WITH A FILTHY GEAUXFER?

Tradition97: You said you were a rival, right!

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: I, the great Chief Illiniwek, a fictional figure-head of a loose amalgamation of unaffiliated Indian tribes joined only by the racist “Oh, whatever, they all look the same anyway,” attitude of the French have to give you fair warning – THERE SHALL BE BLOOD ON THE FIELD THIS SATURDAY WHEN OUR FIERCE RIVALRY IS AGAIN STOKED!

Tradition97: Who are we playing Saturday?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: Do you not remember in the ’80′s when your evil leader Bo Schembechler ran up the score on the brave Lou Tepper?

Tradition97: Who’s Lou Tepper?

ChamapaignDreamsJuiceBudget: OR IN 2000 WHEN THE BIASED BIG 10 OFFICIALS RULED A ROCKY HARVEY FUMBLE WHEN HE WAS ALREADY DOWN?

Tradition97: 2000…when Drew Henson came in at halftime and whooped your ass?

ChampaignDreamsJuiceBudget: WE HAVE A LETTER OF APOLOGY FROM THE BIG 10!!! WE SHALL HAVE OUR COMUPPANCE!

Tradition97: Good for you! Wildcat – can you get this guy a drink?

PurplePeopleEater: Don’t worry, Chief. I’ll play you the last week of the season.

***CHAT ENDED***