Bill Martin. Who is this man? What do we really know about him. In the past few months the Michigan fanbases core belief that Bill Martin was a good and simple man has been rocked to its core by revelations from a secret past that he’s worked very hard to be keep concealed. Like Idi Amin wearing a Mother Teresa skin suit, it was only a matter of time before the leathered veneer of human skin began to decompose and Martin’s true self was revealed.

Revelation, the first. Bill Martin secured mortgages for various members of U-M’s coaching staffs through the Bank of Ann Arbor. Oh, did I mention that Bill Martin IS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BANK OF ANN ARBOR? Martin tried to brush it all off as a “normal business transaction” that “people” engage in “every day” at “banks” across “America.” Spin it however you want, all I see is hush money.

Revelation, the second. Bill Martin had made physical contact with members of the Michigan Stadium security staff when they didn’t recognize him at recent football games. Apparently, in Bill Martin’s world, you can punch a Starbuck’s barista in the face if they don’t greet you by name. Actually, that’s not a bad world. I digress…

It would be bad enough if that was all there was to the story. However, smelling blood on the water, the WLA Investgative Team decided to dig deeper. Our pick is sharp and our will is outstanding. Doing the dirty work that the bought and paid for main stream media is either unwilling or too inept to do, we’ve uncovered a startling pattern of ego run amok.

March 14th, 1947. Martin walks into a public library in a small Ohio town. He takes “Curious George Takes A Job” off the shelf, presents his library card and the librarian promptly stamps “04 / 10 / 47″ as the due date. The book comes back…on April 13th, 1947. The seven year old Martin never pays an overdue fee and never serves a day in prison. Fast forward to five months ago when that same library had to reduce evening hours to Monday through Wednesday only due to budget cuts. Because of Bill Martin, the working people of semi-rural Ohio can only borrow books on a select few nights of the week.

October 23rd, 1961. Martin, now a senior at Wittenberg University, turns in a research that contains a reference to a journal article that was written in 1955. That article was actually written in 1954. No points are deducted from the paper, likely because the professor is afraid of retribution from Martin’s feared posse, know on campus as “The Debate Club.” Had the paper been graded as a 0, like it should have been, Martin would have fallen from “Dean’s List” to “Class Honors” and likely would have ended up addicted to LSD.

June 2nd, 2003 – May 14th, 2005. Perhaps the most damning discovery in Bill Martin’s sordid past. During this time frame, Martin repeatedly arranges rendezvouses between wealthy men and a woman he refers to only as “the seductress.” Martin is paid thousands for his part in setting up these activities. The men we spoke to said that they had “rode the seductress all night long” and that they “swabbed her poop deck.” As we understand it, many of these dalliances took place on Martin’s boat, which is pictured below:

One final point.  Let’s look at Bill Martin’s name.  Bill MARTIN.  Only one letter away from Bill MARTIAN.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

So, there you have it. The WLA Investigative Team had to bring these issues to the forefront to ensure that those in power know that they will be held accountable. We demand that Martin resign from his current position of athletic director by September 5th, 2010. Only then, will justice be served.