Wolverine Liberation Army

The Wolverines dismantled the 8-14 Iowa Hawkeyes last night 60-46, crushing the hopes and dreams of all sports bettors who took Iowa (+13.5), expecting another Michigan collapse in the final ten minutes of play.   But that wasn’t the case this Saturday.  MICH came out to a 13-0 lead with a combination of scoring from Sims, Manny Fresh and Stuin’ it and never looked back.   In a game where two teams match up very well (stat wise), Iowa could not come back from their 17-29 first half deficit.  

Deshawn Jonathan “Peedi” Sims continued to dominate down low, scoring 20 on 9 of 18 shooting (2-5 FT) with 12 rebounds.  Corperryale L’Adorable “Manny” Jonathan “Fresh” Harris scored 20 as well and contributed 6 rebounds, 3 assists and 6 turnovers!?!?  Stu & Grit Novak contributed 6 each, Morris and Zhaq Novak added 2 each and LLP finished with 4, which may be a typo. 

Iowa shot 30.9% on the night which wasn’t much worse than Michigan’s 36.2%, but their inability to rebound and capitalize off Michigan turnovers lead to their crap performance.  Unlike every game Michigan ever plays, they out-rebounded Iowa 44-31.  This lead to 20 second chance points and never allowed Iowa to get within single digits of MICH.  Michigan for once didn’t cause their opponent to cough up the ball more often than they did, 12 TO’s to Iowa’s 10, but it didn’t matter because Iowa couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn.  

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 13%

In the last three years, Michigan football is 17-20. Within the fan base, a vast chasm grows between those who support Comrade Richard Rodriguez, and those that call for his head. Michigan basketball hovers at .500, two years removed from their worst season in modern history, and a huge disappointment from last year. The hockey team sits on the precipice of it’s first season out of the NCAA tournament in more than a decade. The AD has been thrown into a period of transition with a new Director. The Detroit economy is in shambles,  the Tigers are divesting themselves of their most popular players, the Pistons race to to the bottom of the NBA, the Red Wings currently sit out of the playoffs, and the Lions continue to set the standard for sporting ineptitude. Detroit’s Mayor resigned in a flurry of corruption, and city-council-people try their hardest to strangle the struggling city.

In times likes this, Comrades, we must talk about what’s important: the music played during commercial breaks at Michigan Stadium. There may not be a more divisive, angry, and impassioned debate anywhere else amongst the elements of the Michigan fan base. Our friends and Maize & Brew re-opened the dialoguewith a few play-list suggestions for the Michigan Stadium DJ, based largely on their “MONSTER HITS OF THE ’80′s!!!” CD anthology. Brian of MGoBlog, who seemingly would have been terrified at the seductive motion of Elvis’ hips back in the ’50′s, wants to keep things the way they were back in the good ‘ole days, and FOR HEAVENS SAKE THINK OF PRESERVING OUR TRADITION FOR THE CHILDREN. Maize & Brew responded, upping the rhetorical ante up one more notch.

So, friends in the Proletariat, you’re doubtlessly wondering which side we, the leading Leftist Voice in the Michigan Blogosphere stand on this issue? Comrades, given the choice between Eisenhower-era  stodginess and Toby Keith-ian Capitalistic Patriotism, the choice is clear: on neither side.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 18%

December 9th. 11 minutes. 0 points. 2 shots. 1 rebound. 1 assist.

December 19th. 20 minutes. 0 points. 1 shot. 1 rebound. 1 assist.

January 3rd. 21 minutes. 0 points. 1 shot. 1 rebound. 2 assists.

January 10th. 22 minutes. 0 points. 2 shots. 1 rebound. 1 assist.

January 26th. 26 minutes. 0 points. 3 shots. 2 rebounds. 2 assists.

Laval Lucas-Perry has played over half the minutes of the season thus far. “That’s not true,” you were going to say. “I watched the Michigan State game, they had Harris, Sims, Douglass, and Novak on the floor at the end of the game,” you were going to retort. Ah. That’s only four players.

Laval Lucas-Perry’s game is subtle. So subtle you wouldn’t notice his mark upon the game. Lucas-Perry resists hullabaloo. Attention. Anything of note. Yet, like Jewish Guilt, he is always there. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me, but it’s true. That fifth guy that runs up and down the court? That’s him. That’s where you’ll always find him. Running. From offense to defense. He doesn’t feel the need to “shoot” or “do things” at his destination. His presence is enough. He thought Our American Cousin was mediocre, at best.

Lucas-Perry has always been there. Lucas-Perry will always be there. Not calling attention to himself. Not being a burden to your senses. Artist renderings show that he was there when the United States threw of the yolk of their oppresors:

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 39%

Beating up nerds seems to be a key to success. Carson Bulter went on tire iron wielding nerd smashing spree and Michigan went to a bowl game. MSU beat up a bunch of nerds in PREWB 2 and promptly went to bowl game and their basketball team sits undefeated in Big10 Play. At the WLA went went looking for some skulls to crack with the hopes of boosting the frequency of our content as well as page hits. As a part of the nerd skull cracking tour, we came across these graphs for a post. An early sign of success to our new strategy. Unfortunately, whether or not these graphs will reveal anything other than a pretty bubble picture, is not known. As you know from our previous mailbag statistics post, you click on each variable to view the graph as you see fit.

[Note: The data was updated to games from 1.26.2010, but not the games from 1.27.2010 and will mainly focus on the non-intangible, points per game (ppg).]

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 15%

From the desk of SirMajesty Dr. Big Jonathan Boutros XVI, Ph.D., KBE Order of the Crunchy Taco.

January 26, 2234. 11:09 pm.

A remarkable breakthrough! Professor Dexington’s dig team at Central Lansingopolis has yielded a terrific historical find. They uncovered a series of crude images all depicting a late 20th century commander in the throes of an excruciating fartsplosion*.

*Fartsplosions, as they are now identified in the medical community, mystified doctors at the time. An individual prone to farts was said to “have gas,” while a single fart was only properly labeled by children and those of low social status or intelligence. The wealthy members of society chose not to acknowledge farts with a single, unifying terminology. Fartsplosions, in which an individual is overtaken by a series of explosive farts, were only seriously accepted by physicians in 2013, quickly becoming a staple of simple physical oppressions like the common cold and Butt AIDS.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 17%