Ann Arbor – After watching U-M students Meryl Davis and Charlie White dance their way to Olympic Silver Medals, and fellow students Emily Samuelson and Evan Bates skate well in the same competition, U-M Athletic Director to-be David Brandon sees an array of possibilities open to the slumping University of Michigan Athletic Department.

Michigan athletics has been mired in a slump for much of the past eighteen months – a slump that has seen the football team’s first bowl-less seasons in 32 years, the perennial championship contending Hockey team fail to make the NCAA tournament, Men’s Basketball follow a promising run to the tournament with a .500 campaign, and the baseball team follow up a Super-Regional appearance with a sub-.500 season.

Davis and White’s success, however has given Brandon a set of new possibilities.

“I currently have a call into NCAA president Jim Isch, asking that Ice Dancing be made an NCAA Division I sport, effective in March,” said Brandon. “Further, I have a call into Stephen Jonathan Lesko, an elite skating instructor from West Virginia, to spear-head the first University of Michigan Ice Dancing team.”

To a fanbase and student body starved for a victory in anything, the plan has received strong support.

“Skulle jag vinna på något? Låter bra,” said LSA Junior Carl Hagelin, who suggested that he may be open to a sport change. “Jag vill bara komma ihåg hur det känns.”

Brandon further suggested that the likely dominance over Ohio State and Michigan State in something was not a minor consideration when scheming the push for the sports’ inclusion in NCAA athletics.

“I don’t want to get John Cooper-ed out of here,” said Brandon.

Football Coach Rich Rodriguez and Basketball Coach John Beilein also saw potential in Davis and White’s success, citing Charlie White’s interview on Tuesday morning with the Today Show, in which he commented that he’d be willing to trade his silver medal for a Rose Bowl and Final Four berth.

“Well, John and I have been thinking about it, and we’re ready to take Charlie up on his offer,” said Coach Rodriguez. “It certainly takes a Michigan Man to sacrifice something like that for the good of the team. This takes me off the hot-seat, right?”

Michigan football and basketball players were ecstatic at the news.

“I’m proud and honored to be representing the Big 10 in the 2011 Rose Bowl,” said Freshman Tate Forcier, “I’m sure we’ll all be much looser this season knowing that our wins and losses will be irrelevant.”

“We’re excited to be going to the Final four,” commented Senior Anthony Wright, who did note that the change in plans from the CBI to the semi-finals of the NCAA tournament will present some logistical problems. “We didn’t get a t-shirt design made in advance, so we’re rushing to get those printed and sold as quickly as possible.

At 2 AM, DeShawn Sims and Manny Harris were at Crisler, climbing the ladder to cut down the nets in front of a raucous crowd of 3.

“I’m almost as proud as I’d be if I had accomplished it myself,” said Harris.