The first edition of Heroes of the People defended Michigan’s award winning safety, Jordan Kovacs, from his elitist critics. Since no one would notice, let alone criticize, if Northwestern had a walk-on safety, we had to look elsewhere for maligned or forgotten heroes to defend.

Now that we’ve raised the Purple banner, the WLA quickly searched about for media or weblogger elites to defend our new heroes from. Certainly, there must be those who would seek to destroy The Revolution by misusing the so called “free press.” To our surprise, we found that while the Michigan media is full of Spartan wannabes and Michigan Men that seek to fill their coffers by feasting on the misfortune of the Mother Land (ooops you

A young Wilbon and Greenberg suckling at the teat of the great Northwestern Mother Cat.

 didn’t think I was going to link the Freep did you?), the Northwestern media was devoid of villains. Some may say this is because no one really cares about Northwestern football. Others may say it is because Comrade PATFITZ recruits only the finest men in the greater Chicago Metro area. But we at the WLA know it is because of the media heroes, first suckled at the breast of the Mother Cat, forever DEFEND and protect men of the Purple. May the names of Michael Wilbon and Mike Greenberg forever be remembered as speakers of the truth and protectors of the Purple.

Greenberg figured he'd never know what if felt like to be an athlete. Then he tried p90x!

Wilbon and Greenberg, using their respective media organs ESPN and the Washington Post, seek always to provide a voice to those wronged by the media. Woe unto any who attacks a Northwestern alum, Chicago sports star, friend, or really anyone who appears on their show; for Wilbon and Greenberg will provide an outlet for the true story to be told. Mike and Mike in the morning is a ready outlet for all convicted felons to let the world know that they are just super nice guys who are either misunderstood or didn’t really mean to do, like, those awful things. Wilbon’s Washington Post column and PTI segments are perfect outlets to explain how each of Wilbon’s friends, such as World Champion Poon Hound and Philanderer Tiger Woods, are just doing what every star athlete before them has done.

Without these Great Defenders of the Purple, we might fall victim to the so called “free press” and get the idea that professional athletes are just spoiled, self centered, mega-rich men—when what they really are is super nice guys who just want to feed their families.

If Wilbon loves Chicago so much why doesn't he go write for one of their damn papers?

It came as a great disappointment to The Revolution that the much heralded Northwestern football weblog, Lake the Posts, has yet to immortalize the names of Comrades Wilbon and Greenberg in the annals of great Purple alums.* Perhaps he, like the Brain Cook, has been seduced by the siren call of riches and fame and has since forgotten the foot soldiers of The Revolution. On that note, it has not escaped the WLA’s notice that Brain Cook has promised to delete all criticism of the organ of the mouth piece of the Enemy—the vile Freep. He says his motive is to protect the community and his sanity but we in the WLA know to be wary of those that purport to take our freedoms for the purpose of securing our safety. The end result? Even ‘serious, careful’ criticism of the den of thieves and villains, otherwise known as the Freep, has been silenced.
Here at the WLA, we worry what will happen to the Northwestern faithful when we, just like that idiot you dated in college, return to our first love. The one we complain about constantly. The one we seem to hate. The one who treats us so poorly. The true love of our sporting lives. (I’m talking about Michigan here!) But then we remember. The Purple People will always have Comrades Wilbon and Greenberg to keep them on the Path of the Glorious Leader PATFITZ.

*To be honest, I don’t know anything about the person or people who run Lake the Post. I’ve only read a few of their posts. On the other hand, I don’t even know much about the other writers for the WLA (for security purposes.) The only thing I know about Brain Cook is that I find his grooming choices appalling. None of that has stopped me from writing crazy shit about them dudes, or buying Brain Cook’s book every year. So, I feel perfectly comfortable putting all of e-blogging credibility behind the assertion (ASSertion is right!) that Lake the Posts has never posted a hagiography about Michael Wilbon or Mike Greenberg.