Fall Camp: Reading tea leaves is for the bourgeois

ed: TC and Max now pictured, CPS edited to protect his identity.

We start another glorious year in the Revolution by taking to task UConn. Maize, this one goes out to you where ever you are.

Max:

1. Most Carries – Shaw with 20 to match his number
2. Most Snaps at QB: Denard or Tate – Tate. RR will call the TD play more often with Denard resulting in fewer snaps, but more points
3. More Catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith – Stonum, RR did not get enough receivers in last year’s class and will call a lot of the TD play-pass to get more receivers to commit to MICH
4. Total MICH Points: 36
5. Projected Beers consumed during game – 3, it’s a magic number.
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e. who gets skinsuitted – elno. Despite is CODMW prowess, the online fighting poorly translates to real life, but the suit is ruined by the fight over his skin

JG:

1. Most Carries – Better the devil you know. Denard will get between 12-16 rushes, Tate will have 5-8 before he gets pulled for not running the read option right, and the rest of the backs will get a random 5-10 carries to try and prove their worth before Toussaint starts v. Notre Dame.
2. More Snaps at QB: Denard or Tate – Tate, but ONLY because Denard will be used all over the field as a MICH-of-all-trades weapon. Overall, Denard will play more than either Tate or his clavicle on Saturday.
3. Most catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith – Because Denard is going to get lots of time, the short passing game is going to get the call, and that’ll mean lots of Tree. I predict 8-10 catches on Saturday.
4. Total MICH Points – last year was about 29.5 ppg. The O-line is stacked, the QBs have experience, the RBs might actually produce. UConn might try and shorten the game, but MICH’s offense is explosive, it’s early in the season, and the team will be jacked up for the opener. 45-48 points seems appropriate.
5. Projected Beers consumed during game – During the game? Depends on how many I can fit into my jorts. I would image 4-5 pre-game brewdoggers (ROAR FIGHT DRINK) will fight a losing battle with my pimp hand.
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e who gets skinsuited – easy. Jamie Mac. He’s too nice to fight back.

Chitownblue

1. Most Carries – Denard – around 11 or 12. I think Shaw/Smith/Cox will eat into the RB carries enough to stop any of them going over Denard.
2. Most Snaps at QB: Denard
3. Most Catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith: Vinny Smith. I sort of think he’ll be the leading receiver on the season, at least in terms of receptions.
4. Total MICH points: 35
5. Projected Beers consumed during game – Five or Six? I got a babby
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e. who gets skinsuited – I’m going to guess Shock, because he’s both pretty and the most likely to come up with a talking point that would prompt the drawing of knives

HathaCHIPS;

1. Most Carries: Denard Jonathan Robinson (150+/- yards, 2 TD’s)
2. More Snaps at QB: Denard or Tate: I’m going to go with Tate.  Although all the blue hairs will be up in their suites and unable to see who the QB is….hmmm, strike that, Nard Dawg will have more snaps.
3. More catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith : Martavious Odoms and Roundtree will tie @ 5 receptions each.
4. Michigan Defense Prediction: Not very goodt, but goodt enough.  Probably give up a few bombs, but freshman GRIT will prevail.
5. Projected Beers consumed during tailgate: 14
6. Final Score: MICH 34 – Uconn 28 (MICH down 27-28 in the final 5 minutes)

ShockFX

1. Most Carries - Shaw.  If MICH’s offensive line is as improved as we all hope, then Shaw could run wild.
2. More Snaps at QB: Denard or Tate – Tate because he’s the better passer, and I think UCONN will score some points that pushes MICH to throw a bit more early in the game.  I think Denard might get more snaps, but not until the game is decidedly in Michigan’s favor.
3. More catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith – Kelvin Grady, because you don’t dictate my options to me.
4. Total MICH Points – 52 points.  Will that be enough?  I think so.
5. Projected Beers consumed during game – Should have quoted the B10 JoePa sportsmanship commercial here: “Before, during, and after the game.”  Now that’s a valid count.  And I’ll say six…teen.  Plus a flask on hand, just in case.
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e who gets skinsuited – Gotta be the sweetest man, it’s always the guy that doesn’t see it coming.

tcblue

1. Most carries – Shaw (or whoever does the worst job of brushing his teeth)
2. Most snaps – Tate
3. Most catches – Tree
4. Total MICH points – 38
5. Projected beers consumed – 5 (I am at home with the family after all)
6. Skinsuits – that UCONN guy who’s coming with someone.  Elno to collect so he can haz his ticket.

CPS

1. Most Carries: Tate.  He could have the Great Wall of China around him for protection and he still wouldn’t stay put.
2. Most Snaps at QB: Kennedy.  Denard will get five snaps, each of which results in 8 points thanks to 5 excellent calls by RichRod for the TD play followed by the TD play being called for the extra points.  Denard sits, Kennedy comes in to shine (see below).
3. Most Catches: Koger.  It will be revealed later in the season that Koger needs glasses (the only explanation for dropped passes at MICH), but in an odd turn of events, a near-blind Koger will benefit from the erratic throwing of Kennedy, finding his hands in the right place at the right time even when Kennedy is looking the other way.  Passing and receiving records for a single game will be broken.  Book it.
4. Total MICH points: Hard to say.  It’ll depend on how fast we can get the enginerds up there to tally MICH’s score, ’cause it’ll be a big number.  10 to the power of 7 maybe?  I don’t know.  I don’t have my TI-85.
5. Projected Beers consumed during game: One, but it’s a big ‘un.
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e. who gets skinsuited: Everyone but elno.  Seriously.  I don’t think he’s meeting up with you, but you still need to watch out for that guy.

CGC

1. Most Carries: Have to go with the Nard Dawg here, he’ll get the most carries by virtue of the zone read and because I assume half of his passing attempts will end up as runs.
2. Most Snaps at QB: Nard Dawg, is there any question.  Although it’s possible that Rodriguez is really pulling the Woolfolk over our eyes and will reveal his secret weapon tomorrow: ONE MORE YEAR FOR THE CONE BONE!
3. Most Catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith -Royland Squarebush, without question, Jim.  He was the most consistent at the end of last year and throughout the spring and summer.  He’ll be Robinson’s safety valve when the running lanes are covered.
4. Total MICH points: 38 big ones.  MICH is really going to need to throw down some points in order to cover for their LOL defense, especially the secondary.  What used to be a lot of points in the Carr years (recall MICH surprise sexing ND in 2003 with 38 points…..AN OFFENSIVE EXPLOSION!), will be the norm for this MICH team.
5. Projected Beers consumed during game - during the game?  The hell.  I sit in normal seats with all the other savages…no fancy Suite for me, DR. MACKS.  How would I even get A brewdogger to my seat, let alone several?
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e. who gets skinsuited: I hate to say it, but Jammie Mac.  At first you think, “well, hey now, he’s way too sweet”.  BUT, that’s what makes his skinsuit so valuable.  PLUS he is e-famous what with his frequent appearances on the mgopodcast, fine contributions to the annual MICH preview magazine “Hail To The Victors” and of course the greatest website about not gambling: www.justcoverblog.com

SethBigBrisket:

1. Most Carries: Denard Robinson
2. Most Snaps at QB: Denard Robinson and Tate Forcier are within 10 snaps of one another. But Denard starts, and is clearly the more effective quarterback in the system.
3. Most Catches: Tree, Stonum, Smith: Roundtree, with at least 3 more catches than any other receiver.
4. Total MICH points: 38
5. Projected Beers consumed during game: 0 (I don’t drink during Michigan games, after last year’s Illinois game)
6. Scorn meet up results, i.e. who gets skinsuited: Hatha ‘suits Boutros, Paul turns out to have been ‘suiting Tim all along

Well there you have it. MIIICHHH will win, because lulz, who has logos like this one?