MICH-1 Destiny-0 : Truth Has Been Written

He was quietly adamant during recruitment. His demands, you may say, were to simply have a legitimate chance to play quarterback.  That is what he played in high school. He had a rocket arm and oh, yes, may run a sub 1 second 40.

Unfortunately for him, it seems most coaches were less than impressed by his relatively meager throwing highlights in high school and more enthused with the promise he showed carrying the ball.

I do not have the impression that he was demanding a starting spot or any guarantees. Rather, a simple chance to show that Yes, He Can (play QB).

Fortunately for him, Rich Rodriguez, perhaps desperate, told him he’d be able to compete at the position.

On Saturday, Denard Robinson ripped through defenders, made throws, made reads and at one point scampered at light speed to the end zone. But instead of displaying the trademark scowl of a man about to ask a nation HOW MY ASS TASTE, Robinson knelt down and had a moment to himself.

It was almost 5 long years ago that the esteemed cooker of brains declared that 86 = 1. Today, we have a new mathematical proof.

383 = Truth.

Cooped up in that backstreet summer beach house of despair and clinging to any shred of good news and hope and an increasingly irrational belief that everything at Michigan was going to be just ok dammit you’ll see … we heard a tap on the window … and a dreadlocked, half-man half-motorcycle messiah invited us to take a ride with him.

You might say wellllll let’s not start sucking each others dicks just yet and point out that it’s only one game, blah blah blah. I disagree. I hold a firm belief that we must enjoy every victory in life. Happiness is a lot like a game of Tetris. If you keep ignoring little wins, you’ll have a towering monstrosity of angst and find yourself praying for a long skinny block that may not come before it’s too late. So you’ll excuse me if when I see the potential savior of the Michigan Wolverines sprinting to the end zone and playing the role of great uniter in a fragmented fanbase – because if you don’t like Denard Robinson then just get the fuck out of this planet already since you are obviously devoid of a soul – I get a little excited.

It’s hard to overstate the excitement that Robinson, deservedly, has created. If someone hasn’t made a Heisman statue with a dread wig yet, it’s coming. And I couldn’t be happier for this guy.

When the Robinson highlights cropped up during the recruiting process I was intrigued by his speed. When he picked MICH and flashed that smile, I made a note of his name. When he picked up a dropped snap and teleported through the WMU defense to the endzone, I bear hugged dexbro and knocked him to the ground. After he fought valiantly and came short against Iowa, my heart broke like it hasn’t for many Michigan players. In the aftermath of the spring game, I sought wisdom from a football sage in North Carolina who texted several variations of “once he knows the offense he’ll murder people”. At the New Big House on September 4th, I think I was speaking in tongues and going into convulsions. Right now, every shoelace I own is on fire in the backyard and I’ve cancelled haircuts for the next six years.

Denard Robinson is Truth. He is universal Truth in a Winged Helmet. He is undeniable proof that if you work hard, stay focused, and stay smiling, you’ll be a success – at least for one day.

9 thoughts on “MICH-1 Destiny-0 : Truth Has Been Written

  1. “I think I was speaking in tongues and going into convulsions”

    Yes, I can vouch for this. Also, nodding and saying “Truth, he’s the motherfucking truth, and these motherfuckers can’t stop him.”

  2. Very well written.

    I just can’t wait to see Denard continuously make defenses look bad, and also look forward to his development as a player. Conventional wisdom says he won’t play much better than he did last Saturday (statistically) a part of me wonders, what really is the ceiling for this kid.

  3. It’s late in the evening on Wednesday, and I’m still having trouble getting up from my work-desk because of my Denard-boner.

  4. I don’t want to be crude but you may as well suck your dicks when you get a chance (this is not an actual invitation.) If you can be happy today then go ahead. There’s always tommorrow to be sad.

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