Wolverine Liberation Army

The Wildcatz Nation was left cold, confused and ca-rying when they heard news of the best college basketball player in the world, Kevin Jonathan Coble, decided to focus on his skewl work and not take Northwestern to the Big Dance for the first time since, um, never.

Students briefly stepped away from their studies to scream in agony only to remember that they didn’t really follow basketball, or any sports for that matter.  They then quickly returned to their quantum physics homework at the local nerdery.

Corch Bill Carmody was distraught to say the least; “When we first started recruiting Kevin, I thought to myself, this kid is a total dork, no way he plays hoops.  Then, next thing you know, he’s our leading scorer, breaks his ankle, and returns to his true path of dorkness.”  Kevin’s mother, who was seen at every single game ever and mentioned by the BTN 40,000 times because of her battle against cancer declined to comment on her sons decision.

We here at the WLA demand answers.  Why come he decided to go back to skewl?  Does he not believe in NW tradition?  The team made it to the NIT tourney in 1983, 1994, 1999, 2009 and 2010!!!  Does he not want to carry on the prestige and honor that is considered GREATNESS in the Northwestern Wildcatz basketball program?  Why come you do this to us, Kevin?  Why come?

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Popularity: 19%

Ann Arbor, MICH

The University of Michigan community was rocked Friday morning by news that recently dismissed Wolverine combo-guard Laval Lucas-Perry was a member of the Russian spy ring recently uncovered by an FBI sting.

“We began thinking something was amiss when we realized that Laval consistently missed practice, team meetings, and games,” commented Coach John Beilein. “It just didn’t seem like basketball was his primary concern.”

Accounts, however, very on Lucas-Perry’s attendence record.

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Popularity: 25%

Gradulations to Mad (but not really Mad) Max Johnathan Maxwell Maxington, III for being the winner of the First Annual WLA Brackets R Loose NCAA basketball bracket challenge.

Display this trophy proudly where all friends, family, co-workers, respected elders and loved ones may view it.  This is not a request.

Popularity: 23%

To help understand why Michigan fell from a #15 preseaon ranking to two games under .500 overall and four games in the Big Ten, our crack statistical team here at WLA.com have created another PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH Graphic.

[Note: These graphs are interactive, due to the amazing powers of the internet and represent actual stats.]

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Popularity: 32%

February 27 – 14 minutes, 0/1 shooting, 0 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists.

By now we’ve tried our best, dear reader, to let you know that Laval Lucas-Perry exists.  Really, he does.  He’s always been there, living life just below the water level.  Subtle.  Undetected.  Impalpable.

But did you know that Laval has been extending his mere presence to other sports besides basketball?  It’s true.  Of course, you would never have noticed even if it was staring you right in the face.  He’s that good.

As recently reported by WLA Commandant and King of MGoBlog, chitownblue, U-M Athletic Director in waiting, David Brandon, has petitioned the NCAA to make ice dancing a Division I sport.  Despite speculation to the contrary, it wasn’t merely a last-ditch, shot-in-the-dark attempt to salvage any semblance of athletic success for the school in the face of its football, basketball and hockey programs.  It’s a carefully calculated plan.  Brandon already has his all-star team in place and they’ve been training for years, as evidenced by this archived photograph from the Athletic Department.

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Popularity: 25%