Wolverine Liberation Army

The first edition of Heroes of the People defended Michigan’s award winning safety, Jordan Kovacs, from his elitist critics. Since no one would notice, let alone criticize, if Northwestern had a walk-on safety, we had to look elsewhere for maligned or forgotten heroes to defend.

Now that we’ve raised the Purple banner, the WLA quickly searched about for media or weblogger elites to defend our new heroes from. Certainly, there must be those who would seek to destroy The Revolution by misusing the so called “free press.” To our surprise, we found that while the Michigan media is full of Spartan wannabes and Michigan Men that seek to fill their coffers by feasting on the misfortune of the Mother Land (ooops you

A young Wilbon and Greenberg suckling at the teat of the great Northwestern Mother Cat.

 didn’t think I was going to link the Freep did you?), the Northwestern media was devoid of villains. Some may say this is because no one really cares about Northwestern football. Others may say it is because Comrade PATFITZ recruits only the finest men in the greater Chicago Metro area. But we at the WLA know it is because of the media heroes, first suckled at the breast of the Mother Cat, forever DEFEND and protect men of the Purple. May the names of Michael Wilbon and Mike Greenberg forever be remembered as speakers of the truth and protectors of the Purple. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 20%

Animals are all the rage these days on blogs. You have LOLCats, Unicorns, Dramatic Chimpmunks, and numerous other memified animals, like those dirty, ugly otters. Here at NWWildcatzLiberationArmy, you would think we are associated with our namesake mascot, the Wildcatz, the reality is most Big10 fans just refer to us as seals, usually babby ones about to be clubbed:

We scoff at your ancient, backwards looking, non-politically correct analogies and we do not subscribe to all that emo crap going around lately, seriously. Instead, we picture ourselves more like this:

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Popularity: 23%

Dear comrades,

Welcome to the newly re-purposed WLA – the Wildcatz Liberation Army, where we shall continue to advocate for the liberation of the mind of the average college football fan and for a re-examination of why and how you follow college football.

Why Northwestern? It’s so much easier over here.

The entire WLA was able to buy season tickets in about 6 minutes! Waiting lists? We just had to wait for the ticket agent to scrape their jaw off the floor after we asked for 12 seats. PSLs? They just hoped it wasn’t a prank. Minimum donations? How much change is your pocket?

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Popularity: 31%

When I was in 8^thgrade, I was in the school play. Dorkiness/awkwardness that implies aside, I

Michigan Recruit Davey Crockett

can honestly say that I did for a girl (What, that doesn’t help my case?). Yes, in my lame, “never-been-kissed” reality, I decided to cease my burgeoning football career (8 catches as a 7^th grade TE!) and bring my talents to the stage – because a guy with a stutter is what drama DEMANDS.

Anyway, the girl. Her name was Jen, and she was truly pretty, and pretty rad – frankly, out of my league. During scenes that didn’t involve either of us, she’d come over and take the right ear-bud of my headphones out and listen to “Under the Bridge” with me on my walkman. So, needless to say, I thought I had a shot. She seemed unreasonably interested in my fondness for Led Zeppelin, and this brand new band that not many people had heard of called Pearl Jam.

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Popularity: 46%

MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS SECTORS

This just in: MICH has lost all of their sectors to their neighbors to the Northwest.  Sure, Michigan’s basketball program is pretty much totally incompetent compared to Michigan State’s, and the football team is on a 2 year losing streak to the Spartys, but, ALL their sectors?  Lost to MSU?  It’s unfathomable.

How do we know this?  Well, from the pen (er, keyboard) of Sean Ely, “graduate of Michigan State University’s prestigious School of Journalism in East Lansing, Mich.”! Meet Sean Ely – Journalist.    Mr. Ely has managed to roll that prestigious bachelors degree into a gig as a a local Ginger news reporter for The Argus-Press in Owosso, Mich., an afternoon daily publication.

One wonders, then, why Mr. Ely, as a noted Journalist with such highly regarded credentials, feels it necessary to openly mock someone he has never met and knows nothing about. Somehow, Laval Lucas-Perry being dismissed from Michigan’s basketball program is funny.  I suppose it makes sense, as according to Mr. Ely’s Twitter bio he is in fact an Expert laugher. Whatever that means.  I suppose it means you laugh with a greater understanding of humor then the average, non-prestigious Journalist.

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Popularity: 28%