FYI: Post written using language for those who didn’t get accepted into Northwestern University.

WILDCATZ are known for being smart.  Not only can we solve the rubix cube quicker than your best 40 time, we can also win footbaw games (on paper/field (50/50)).   This data collected regarding our Wildcatz shows the intellectual data to gauge the Footbaw teams successes and defeats using multiple equations and statistical data taken from previous games and academic accomplishments in time.  Not only is this data 100% accurate and FACT, it will also blow your mind in ways you could only imagine from a doctoral course at prestigious Northwestern University.

Below you will see the Win Scan equation.  This calculates Footbaw wins based on the proportion of talent, each players class schedule, Extracurricular activities such as glee club, chess club, math club, class government, Dungeons & Dragon scores, War Craft Character levels,   etc..,  SAT score as well as GPA (which is typically a given, 4.0 or better!).  Result: 7.5679 Wins.

Clearly moar chemistry sets needed in the locker room

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19%

by CATZgoGwen

Imma make a bold statement, but stay with me:

Northwestern is the prettiest football program in the Big 10.

I know, I know, there’s a lot of competition. From Michigan State’s majestic East Lansing campus, to the sexy ‘stache of Danny Hope, the Big 10 is one fierce conference. But I set forth to argue that Evanston has the highest concentration of pretty this girl has ever seen.

Exhibit A:

Ryan Field

People are afraid to go to games, it’s that pretty. 350 of the CATZ biggest fans brave the magnificent stadium to support the CATZ every week, after tailgating on the lakefront with their cheese plates and wine coolers. That’s hardcore.

Exhibit B:

Head Corch Pat Fitzgerald

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 23%

The Wildcatz Nation was left cold, confused and ca-rying when they heard news of the best college basketball player in the world, Kevin Jonathan Coble, decided to focus on his skewl work and not take Northwestern to the Big Dance for the first time since, um, never.

Students briefly stepped away from their studies to scream in agony only to remember that they didn’t really follow basketball, or any sports for that matter.  They then quickly returned to their quantum physics homework at the local nerdery.

Corch Bill Carmody was distraught to say the least; “When we first started recruiting Kevin, I thought to myself, this kid is a total dork, no way he plays hoops.  Then, next thing you know, he’s our leading scorer, breaks his ankle, and returns to his true path of dorkness.”  Kevin’s mother, who was seen at every single game ever and mentioned by the BTN 40,000 times because of her battle against cancer declined to comment on her sons decision.

We here at the WLA demand answers.  Why come he decided to go back to skewl?  Does he not believe in NW tradition?  The team made it to the NIT tourney in 1983, 1994, 1999, 2009 and 2010!!!  Does he not want to carry on the prestige and honor that is considered GREATNESS in the Northwestern Wildcatz basketball program?  Why come you do this to us, Kevin?  Why come?

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19%

88 Day of the year, known for Wrestlemania III twenty-three years ago.

600 Communities who want Google internet. Only one of them deserves it, MINE.

1 Week until Austin Jackson has to become Curtis Granderson. No pressure. (Also, what a terrible website.)

15 I just have a good feeling about this one. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 13%

This post was originally published on Friday. Since then we have been in contact with SBN and believe that they are, truly concerned with the privacy of their readers, and take their policy seriously. As they investigate what happened from their side, we re-publish the post with minor changes, lest the blogosphere believe we are backing away from any claim herein, which we certainly are not.

Comrades, as you know, the WLA is a blog of the people, dedicated to protecting you and your families from the tyranny of large, faceless corporations who care little for you other than what you can produce, or what your demographic can produce for them in advertisement revenue. We are saddened to report that certain blogs will go as far in games of petty retribution as to attempt to literally ruin your life.

Comrades, this is not rhetoric – we, at the WLA, have concrete evidence of representatives of The Buckeye Battle Cry willfully ignoring their published Privacy Policy to collect information on their readership for the express purpose of having a reader punished, and potentially fired, from their work.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 97%