Yes, you say?

Hello. You don’t know me, but I’m the guy that’s going to tell it like it is. If you’re upset with the direction Rich Rodriguez is taking the Michigan football program and would like to see him fired now, there are some unavoidable realities you need to face.

1. Firing Rich Rodriguez After Two Seasons is an Extremely Bad Idea

I don’t know what your next step would be, so help me walk through the timeline here. First, do you want RichRod to be fired right fucking now, before he’s even allowed to finish his second season? If so, then wow- conceivably, the team could win one of these last two games (unlikely, I know) and go to a bowl game…and you’d still think it wasn’t good enough to stop the termination of the head coach before his second season was finished. Wow.

But suppose we take the more likely finish of 5-7, and you believe he should be fired but only after that’s occurred. Ok, that puts Michigan (back) in a national coaching search in early December, when all the “good” coaches are preparing for bowl games and while several other programs are trying to land those very same “good” coaches, and you know what? We went through this already and it sucked donkey balls. How much confidence do you have that a retiring Bill Martin is going to do a better, more aggressive hiring job now than he did then (back when he barely lumbered up and offered Greg freaking Schiano)? Best case scenario is that Martin finds somebody, anybody by the end of the month. Worst case scenario is, well, worse- we don’t have a coach until mid-January, mere weeks before National Signing Day. Awesome.

Which brings us to the next point about firing RichRod now- the recruiting class will be decimated. Take a look at the verbals- until a coach is landed, none of those guys is a lock because most are a “fit” for RichRod’s system. That goes especially for the best recruit (QB Devin Gardner) who would definitely go to another spread option-based program, no sugarcoat. With all the roster issues Michigan is suffering through now, why would you be eager to inflict even more of that on the program you claim to love so much? Making a coaching change now would haunt the program for at least 3-4 more years- how is that better than sticking with a coach for 2+ more years?

2. Calling for 1 is the Act of an Immature, Delusional Dickbag
I know this from experience. I remember in Lloyd’s first few years as coach, I was an unhappy hater. I called years of 8-4 “unacceptable,” I called for Fred Jackson’s head (weird, huh?), I really wanted somebody else as coach blah blah blah. Most of you already know this story- 1997 happened and I realized that the magical national championship season could have easily been 8-4 and I really really really didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. I chalked that asshole phase of my fandom up to youth and moved along.

You, however, seem to have “grown up” without ever accepting the fact that you don’t know what you’re talking about and therefore you would suck as a football coach. I at least own up to the fact that I don’t know dick about football (latest example). The game is fascinating and entertaining and frustrating, but God help me if I try to pick out some crucial block, double move, head fake, etc. Despite my best efforts to learn more from gsimmons and Steve Sharik and Chris Brown, I’m hopeless. And I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one. We see the ball, we follow the ball, we love/hate the result of the movement of the ball, and that’s about all we can do.

If you admit that you don’t know jack about football (and you likely don’t), then it follows that you have no special knowledge or information that lends credibility to your judgement that RichRod should be fired. You don’t know football, therefore you also don’t know football coaching, so STFU and try and enjoy yourself. Anything else simply means you judge people and programs solely on outcomes and completely ignore process. I say from personal experience that’s a shitty way to be a fan, and you need to realize that your shitty fandom is making it worse for the non-shitty fans.

3. This Is Not Up to You
How many times must this be explained to you?

4. There Are No Better, Realistic Options Right Now
What kind of message will this program send to hot coaching prospects if Rich Rodriguez is fired after two seasons? A coaching search is a two-way street- Michigan is an attractive job, sure, but we’d presumably be pursuing equally attractive coaches. So what’s our sales pitch here? “We’ll pay you lots of money and you’ll have tremendous prestige and visibility, but only for two years because we ignore the roster-raping that’s been going on for a long time and you’re fucked before you even start- so, how about it?”

Really, you think that sales pitch will fly with Brian Kelly or Les Miles or…anyone else? Get a grip. Giving a coach a quick hook and messing up the roster guarantees that smart coaches will stay the fuck away from that program. See: Notre Dame, Urban Meyer, lolWeis. Fire Rodriguez Now = We’re Not Getting Anyone Good or Smart.

5. Progress Has Been Made
5(+?)>3. Therefore, progress.

2009 Michigan Offense > 2008 Michigan Offense. Therefore, progress.

2009 Michigan Defense = 2008 Michigan Defense. We seem to forget how sucky last year’s defense was, and that was with Brandon Harrison, Morgan Trent, John Thompson, Terrance Taylor, and Will Johnson, contributors all. Yes, this defense is horrible, but unfortunately Horrible =/= Regression.

More wins, better offense, and the same shitty defense…how is that not progress? No, I’m not giving you links to prove any of this, because A) I’m lazy, and B) if you had any interest in facts you probably wouldn’t be calling for RichRod’s head to begin with.

6. This Still is and Always was a Rebuilding Job
Perhaps this is the reality you want to face the least- this team was in shitty shape before RichRod arrived. I know, it sucks to say that out loud, but there it is- Lloyd got tired and sloppy at the end, and the program is a little fucked up as a result. I love him, but bless his heart he didn’t seem to put the required energy into the program after about 2003. He wanted to retire earlier because of this, but Bo convinced him to stick it out for a few more years (again I’m sure there’s a link for this but I’m not going to go get it because I’m lazy). We are paying the price for that fatigue now.

When RichRod arrived in January 2008, there was little offensive line talent, no offensive line depth, no safety talent, no safety depth, little linebacker talent, no linebacker depth, no quarterback talent, no quarterback depth, and little receiver talent. The only position groups ready to go were running back and defensive line, which are arguably being maximized by RichRod right now.

With that roster reality facing RichRod, he deserves time to build the squad back up. Playstation tells me that 2 years is not enough time to rebuild a college roster, so it must be even worse in the real world.

7. If You Choose to Ignore 1-6, then Please Stop Rooting for Michigan

If you’re the type of person that likes to ignore reality just because reality isn’t giving you what you think you’re entitled to, then fuck you and go away from “my” team. You’re obviously not having any fun watching this disaster rise from the ashes, and the rest of us aren’t having any fun trying to get you to stop your whiny bitching. I’m tired of you, you’re tired of me and the program, so let’s just go our separate ways. Seriously, fuck off.

Want to “send a message” to the athletic department that RichRod is UNACCEPTABLE? Stop going to the games, stop watching them on tv, and stop buying M apparel. Trust me, nothing gets the attention of an athletic department like declining ticket, TV, and apparel revenues so if all this is UNACCEPTABLE then do your part, man- go the fuck away and don’t come back until Rich Rodriguez is fired. And if he never gets fired because he actually is a good coach and gets this program back on its feet, well, you made your choice didn’t you?

Just jump already. Stop talking about it and just go away.

…

These are the realities you face, asshats: it’s stupid to fire Rodriguez now, you’re a dick for wanting to do something stupid, it’s not up to you anyway, we’re not getting Brian Kelly or Les Miles right now, progress has been made, rebuilding takes time, and just go the fuck away already. The penis of reality is slapping you in the face right now, and it’s time for you to suck on it.

Sincerely,

The WLA

Hello. You don’t know me, but I’m the guy that’s going to tell it like it is. If you’re upset with the direction Rich Rodriguez is taking the Michigan football program and would like to see him fired now, there are some unavoidable realities you need to face.

1. Firing Rich Rodriguez After Two Seasons is an Extremely Bad Idea

I don’t know what your next step would be, so help me walk through the timeline here. First, do you want RichRod to be fired right fucking now, before he’s even allowed to finish his second season? If so, then wow- conceivably, the team could win one of these last two games (unlikely, I know) and go to a bowl game…and you’d still think it wasn’t good enough to stop the termination of the head coach before his second season was finished. Wow.

But suppose we take the more likely finish of 5-7, and you believe he should be fired but only after that’s occurred. Ok, that puts Michigan (back) in a national coaching search in early December, when all the “good” coaches are preparing for bowl games and while several other programs are trying to land those very same “good” coaches, and you know what? We went through this already and it sucked donkey balls. How much confidence do you have that a retiring Bill Martin is going to do a better, more aggressive hiring job now than he did then (back when he barely lumbered up and offered Greg freaking Schiano)? Best case scenario is that Martin finds somebody, anybody by the end of the month. Worst case scenario is, well, worse- we don’t have a coach until mid-January, mere weeks before National Signing Day. Awesome.

Which brings us to the next point about firing RichRod now- the recruiting class will be decimated. Take a look at the verbals- until a coach is landed, none of those guys is a lock because most are a “fit” for RichRod’s system. That goes especially for the best recruit (QB Devin Gardner) who would definitely go to another spread option-based program, no sugarcoat. With all the roster issues Michigan is suffering through now, why would you be eager to inflict even more of that on the program you claim to love so much? Making a coaching change now would haunt the program for at least 3-4 more years- how is that better than sticking with a coach for 2+ more years?

2. Calling for 1 is the Act of an Immature, Delusional Dickbag
I know this from experience. I remember in Lloyd’s first few years as coach, I was an unhappy hater. I called years of 8-4 “unacceptable,” I called for Fred Jackson’s head (weird, huh?), I really wanted somebody else as coach blah blah blah. Most of you already know this story- 1997 happened and I realized that the magical national championship season could have easily been 8-4 and I really really really didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. I chalked that asshole phase of my fandom up to youth and moved along.

You, however, seem to have “grown up” without ever accepting the fact that you don’t know what you’re talking about and therefore you would suck as a football coach. I at least own up to the fact that I don’t know dick about football (latest example). The game is fascinating and entertaining and frustrating, but God help me if I try to pick out some crucial block, double move, head fake, etc. Despite my best efforts to learn more from gsimmons and Steve Sharik and Chris Brown, I’m hopeless. And I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one. We see the ball, we follow the ball, we love/hate the result of the movement of the ball, and that’s about all we can do.

If you admit that you don’t know jack about football (and you likely don’t), then it follows that you have no special knowledge or information that lends credibility to your judgement that RichRod should be fired. You don’t know football, therefore you also don’t know football coaching, so STFU and try and enjoy yourself. Anything else simply means you judge people and programs solely on outcomes and completely ignore process. I say from personal experience that’s a shitty way to be a fan, and you need to realize that your shitty fandom is making it worse for the non-shitty fans.

3. This Is Not Up to You
How many times must this be explained to you?

4. There Are No Better, Realistic Options Right Now
What kind of message will this program send to hot coaching prospects if Rich Rodriguez is fired after two seasons? A coaching search is a two-way street- Michigan is an attractive job, sure, but we’d presumably be pursuing equally attractive coaches. So what’s our sales pitch here? “We’ll pay you lots of money and you’ll have tremendous prestige and visibility, but only for two years because we ignore the roster-raping that’s been going on for a long time and you’re fucked before you even start- so, how about it?”

Really, you think that sales pitch will fly with Brian Kelly or Les Miles or…anyone else? Get a grip. Giving a coach a quick hook and messing up the roster guarantees that smart coaches will stay the fuck away from that program. See: Notre Dame, Urban Meyer, lolWeis. Fire Rodriguez Now = We’re Not Getting Anyone Good or Smart.

5. Progress Has Been Made
5(+?)>3. Therefore, progress.

2009 Michigan Offense > 2008 Michigan Offense. Therefore, progress.

2009 Michigan Defense = 2008 Michigan Defense. We seem to forget how sucky last year’s defense was, and that was with Brandon Harrison, Morgan Trent, John Thompson, Terrance Taylor, and Will Johnson, contributors all. Yes, this defense is horrible, but unfortunately Horrible =/= Regression.

More wins, better offense, and the same shitty defense…how is that not progress? No, I’m not giving you links to prove any of this, because A) I’m lazy, and B) if you had any interest in facts you probably wouldn’t be calling for RichRod’s head to begin with.

6. This Still is and Always was a Rebuilding Job
Perhaps this is the reality you want to face the least- this team was in shitty shape before RichRod arrived. I know, it sucks to say that out loud, but there it is- Lloyd got tired and sloppy at the end, and the program is a little fucked up as a result. I love him, but bless his heart he didn’t seem to put the required energy into the program after about 2003. He wanted to retire earlier because of this, but Bo convinced him to stick it out for a few more years (again I’m sure there’s a link for this but I’m not going to go get it because I’m lazy). We are paying the price for that fatigue now.

When RichRod arrived in January 2008, there was little offensive line talent, no offensive line depth, no safety talent, no safety depth, little linebacker talent, no linebacker depth, no quarterback talent, no quarterback depth, and little receiver talent. The only position groups ready to go were running back and defensive line, which are arguably being maximized by RichRod right now.

With that roster reality facing RichRod, he deserves time to build the squad back up. Playstation tells me that 2 years is not enough time to rebuild a college roster, so it must be even worse in the real world.

7. If You Choose to Ignore 1-6, then Please Stop Rooting for Michigan

If you’re the type of person that likes to ignore reality just because reality isn’t giving you what you think you’re entitled to, then fuck you and go away from “my” team. You’re obviously not having any fun watching this disaster rise from the ashes, and the rest of us aren’t having any fun trying to get you to stop your whiny bitching. I’m tired of you, you’re tired of me and the program, so let’s just go our separate ways. Seriously, fuck off.

Want to “send a message” to the athletic department that RichRod is UNACCEPTABLE? Stop going to the games, stop watching them on tv, and stop buying M apparel. Trust me, nothing gets the attention of an athletic department like declining ticket, TV, and apparel revenues so if all this is UNACCEPTABLE then do your part, man- go the fuck away and don’t come back until Rich Rodriguez is fired. And if he never gets fired because he actually is a good coach and gets this program back on its feet, well, you made your choice didn’t you?

Just jump already. Stop talking about it and just go away.

…

These are the realities you face, asshats: it’s stupid to fire Rodriguez now, you’re a dick for wanting to do something stupid, it’s not up to you anyway, we’re not getting Brian Kelly or Les Miles right now, progress has been made, rebuilding takes time, and just go the fuck away already. The penis of reality is slapping you in the face right now, and it’s time for you to suck on it.

Sincerely,

The WLA

Adversity comes in many forms, and he is certainly not the only player on the Michigan team that has faced it (see: Mealer, Elliott). However, when adversity arrives on a player’s doorstep as FIRST HALF FAILURE and that failure becomes visible to many, many people as an unfair and premature judgment of “I don’t think Cissoko is any good, injured shoulder or not”….well, I can’t help but root for the guy, if only to make the people who make those judgments EAT IT.

We’ve all had rough days and we’ve all been put in impossible situations. Our beloved Michigan players are no different, and I love to see these kids grow up in front of our eyes and become MEN. That is something I can and will root for every damn Saturday in the fall. So with that in mind, let’s look at what Boubacar Cissoko dealt with this past weekend, how he responded to it, and then offer a hearty “FUCK YOU” to the haters among our fanbase.

PART 1: FACING ADVERSITY

We begin with some very simple points:

1. Boubacar Cissoko, when compared to Michael Floyd and Golden Tate, is NOT physically gifted. He is shorter than them, he is lighter than them, he is most likely not as strong as them. Floyd and Tate offered a severe matchup problem for Cissoko, and for receivers with the size and bulk of Floyd/Tate that will most likely always be the case. It is unlikely Cissoko will magically grow six inches in height and gain fifty pounds in bulk- Barwis can only do so much here. To penalize Cissoko because he wasn’t born with as many physical gifts as the receivers lining up opposite him is tremendously unfair.

2. Boubacar Cissoko, when compared to Michael Floyd and Golden Tate, does not have much experience. Against Notre Dame, Cissoko was essentially playing only his third college game ever. Yes, he technically played a few snaps here and there in 2008, but what little playing time he got added up to little more than a game (maybe). On the other hand, Golden Tate is a senior with 3 years of starting experience, and Michael Floyd has had 7+ games of starting experience going back to last year. So in addition to a physical matchup problem, Cissoko also offered a significant mental matchup problem. And again- blaming someone for essentially being born later (i.e. being younger) than the receivers lining up opposite him is tremendously unfair.

3. Boubacar Cissoko was most likely asked to sacrifice some of his coverage abilities in order to support an overall defensive gameplan. Based on last year and Week 1 of this year, the Michigan defense had shown a propensity to give up looooong pass plays ending in touchdowns. If you’re the defensive coordinator, knowing that your secondary is somewhat vulnerable to the deep ball, and knowing that you have some talent on the d-line, wouldn’t you rather play with a softer coverage? Wouldn’t you rather try and make Notre Dame march the field in bits and pieces and increase the number of chances for your d-line to score a sack or a fumble? If this was the plan, wouldn’t Cissoko be bailing early and often into deeper coverages, in order to protect against deep balls? Isn’t that what we saw? You cannot blame Cissoko for following the gameplan, and further you cannot blame the defensive coordinator for developing a gameplan that acknowledges the reality of these matchup problems and simply aims to mitigate them.

4. Boubacar Cissoko is hurt. Have we forgotten last year? As a reminder, many people (myself and Brian included) wondered aloud “why hasn’t Donovan Warren improved?” Only a season later do we find out that Warren was injured and it seriously affected his game performances. This time we at least know that Cissoko has hurt his shoulder, but somehow we’re supposed to think it’s not affecting his game performances? If history has taught us anything here, it’s that a lot of these injuries are more serious than the coaches or players are letting on, and they inevitably affect game performance.

5. Notre Dame’s passing offense is good, and good passing offenses will almost always make secondaries look bad. I know we don’t want to hear this, and I hate hate hate saying it, but- Jimmah! has turned a corner and become proficient, that offensive line has finally become competent, and both those receivers and the tight end will be playing on Sundays. By many measures (Completion %, Yards Per Attempt, Yards Per Completion, Sacks, Total Passing Yards, etc.), this Notre Dame passing offense is legit and is markedly better than anything seen from ND the past two years. You cannot “demand” or expect your college secondary to shut down an offense that is “in rhythm,” and also largely composed of NFL talent. You just can’t.

PART 2: OVERCOMING ADVERSITY
So, with all those factors going against Cissoko, and with the results basically going to plan in the first half of play (i.e. a burnt to a crisp Boubacar Cissoko), how did Cissoko respond? Well, let’s consult Brian’s second half UFR to see (emphasis mine):

• Cissoko, petrified, is ten yards deep and moving backwards at the snap; “duh” read for ND. (result 9 yd pass)
• Cissoko is running with Tate along the sideline, looking for the ball. It falls incomplete, and the guy staring right at it says incomplete. Five seconds later the back judge, who was 30 yards away, throws a flag. This is super ticky-tack, because Cissoko is arm-fighting with Tate. (result penalty 15 yd)
• I still fail to see why the coverage is shaded towards Warren all day and Cissoko is just left to rot against Floyd. This is way open but it’s hard to blame a guy on an island with Mike Floyd. (result 12 yd pass)
• This appears to be on Floyd for being a wuss, as Michigan drops Mouton into a zone over the slant and he just pulls up on it instead of take a chance of getting lit up. As a result, it goes directly to Cissoko, who drops it. I won’t minus him but here’s a stern look. (result incomplete near int)
• Well-executed in front of Cissoko and behind Herron in what looks like zone. This is the “headless Graham” play, which does not get flagged. (result 10 yd pass)
• Just a straight fly Cissoko gets smoked on. Tate catches it but it pops out when he hits the ground for an incompletion. Roh would have gotten to Clausen on the backside if not for the LT holding him around the corner. On replay it looks like Cissoko may have had some small impact on the drop so I’ll bump him up. (result incomplete)
• Easy pitch and catch in front of that guy again, and this time it’s not even one of the big stars, it’s a freshman. Blitz came but Clausen was clean. (result 8 yd pass)
• All, all, all day as Michigan rushes three and drops a couple DEs, including Graham, into coverage. Doesn’t matter. Tate gets Cissoko to turn his hips and then breaks off a hitch just past the sticks; Cissoko recovers and actually makes his best break on the ball of the day, coming an inch away from getting a PBU. He doesn’t, and he doesn’t make a tackle, and Tate walks into the endzone. (result 21 yd TD)
• Just chuckin’ it deep on Cissoko again; this time he’s actually got good position and can get himself between Floyd and his route, which he does… and then flagrantly bumps him, drawing a flag that’s deserved, then waved off because the throw was yards out of bounds. Michigan sent a blitz and this is another Jimmah chuck special. (result incomplete)
• Blitz gets Ezeh through clean and Graham beats his guy. Jimmah: chuck. Cissoko is in good position; the ball drags Floyd out of the endzone with help from Cissoko. We should just be sending guys in waves. (result incomplete)
• Bring the house and Clausen throws it wide. This one, I think, is on Jimmah. Cissoko beat…on third and ten in this situation when you know Michigan is bringing the house. That’s just dumb. (result incomplete)

In the second half, this small, inexperienced, injured, and (most likely) gameplan-following cornerback facing off against NFL talent was thrown at eleven times, and had the following results: sixty yards of offense for a 5.4 Yards Per Attempt, six incompletions, 1 touchdown, 1 near interception, 1 ticky-tacky pass interference call, and 1-2 pass breakups. You’ll also note that the last three times Cissoko was thrown at were all incompletions.

Strictly on results we may argue whether this constitutes “good” play by Cissoko, but I think we can agree that this is not catastrophic or Johnny Sears-like (CAW!). And in context of everything else, I think we can all agree that Cissoko improved in the second half- in other words, he successfully responded to adversity.

SUMMARY: YOU MAY CALL HIM MISTER CISSOKO FROM NOW ON

Five very good reasons to tone down the expectations on Cissoko’s performance going into the Notre Dame game, and eleven examples of Cissoko managing to deal with and even overcome the problems that arose. All in all, a day of facing and successfully responding to adversity. A day where a coach and fan should feel happy with Cissoko, because: the gameplan was followed; the gameplan succeeded; Cissoko didn’t jeopardize the gameplan with catastrophically bad play; and Cissoko can and will improve off of this challenging day.

And this is what is pooped out of the Defensive UFR:

“I don’t think Cissoko is any good, injured shoulder or not.”

Well, right back at you Brian- I don’t think “judgment” like that is any good, partial retraction or not. That is an unfair and extremely premature assessment of a 19 year old who has a lot of time left in his career, an injury to overcome, and better techniques that he most likely will learn as this and future seasons go along. That assessment of Cissoko sucks ass.

And excuse me, misopogon, you had something to say about second year cornerbacks? (paraphrase)

I compared the tackle stats of entire careers of previous cornerbacks to the tackle stats of a cornerback who has played a mere two games into his sophomore year. Then I projected that out to 2 years into the future based on nothing more than my gut. But I have charts!

Well, gee that’s fucking great. And by “fucking great,” I mean “fucking useless.”

Now as I said, Brian has somewhat backed away from his original asshattery…somewhat. But I think it’s important to understand one of the reasons why Brian was an asshat on Cissoko to begin with- his “results-based charting” philosophy. I understand why Brian likes to chart out a player’s performance based on results and ignore context, but you can only go so far on this analysis. A results-based charting philosophy will never take into account the expectation of a matchup, will never judge a player based on effort or technique, will unfairly trash players put in bad situations, and finally, will not reward players for responding to a problem. While analysis strictly based on “outcomes” is nice, I prefer analysis that delves far more deeply into “process.”

This is why the reactions and analyses from coaches (such as gsimmons85 and Steve Sharik) will always be vastly different from what Brian sees- coaches understand that the game and the players are organic, fluid entities that constantly change. The injured, inexperienced, and small Boubacar Cissoko is not someone to hand out (-1, -1) to all freaking day long- he is a kid that can and should be worked with over time to develop into a serviceable or even a lockdown corner.

There are limitations to any kind of analysis done on paper without context. While it may help to review what exactly happened, no one should EVER be so cocksure on this paper analysis as to project on whether a young kid will be “any good” or not. This is not and never will be ok. Brian (and misopogon and all you BooBoo haters out there), Boubacar Cissoko has worked hard to overcome the challenges he’s faced and will continue to face. And taking everything into account, his results on the field demand your respect. YOU MAY CALL HIM MISTER CISSOKO, from now on, thank you very much.

BOOM FISK’D

Strategy

A frequent complaint under the Lloyd Carr regime was that the offensive play-calling relied too much on “throwing rock” - plunging Mike Hart into the defensive line, through the same hole, ad nauseum. Frequently, fans complained of a lack of “halftime adjustments” of some sort. Many hoped that Rodriguez, architect of the NCAA’s most dangerous rushing attack, would freshen the offensive playbook, providing it’s first update in virtually twenty years.

Grade: 3 Molotovs. This was a boom-and-bust area for Rodriguez. The degree to which the offensive was under-manned, under-powered, and under-experienced has been chronicled ad nauseum. The question, however, is how did Rodriguez do with what he had? Despite Michigan’s first offensive line in memory that lacked a single All-Big-Ten performer, and no discernible passing game, Michigan’s rushing attack averaged 5.1 yards-per-carry, net of sack yardage – equal to 2007 (when they had Michigan’s all-time leading passer, rusher, a first round pick at left tackle, and two NFL Wide Receivers), and considerably better than the 11-2 2006 team (which all of the above, plus a 3rd NFL Wide Receiver).

Further, Rodriguez somehow began to coax serviceable to good performances out of Steven Threet – a tall, immobile statue ill-suited for this offense. Threet played largely well against Notre Dame (16/23, 175 yards), played well in flashes again Illinois and Toledo, and phenomenally against Penn State before getting injured – an injury he’d carry with him for the rest of the season, making him largely ineffective.

Defense, however, was a different story. After being overwhelmed in an avalanche of big plays against Utah, Notre Dame, Toledo, Michigan State, Illinois, and Penn State, Rodriguez clearly took control of the defense from his coordinator, Scott Shafer, installing his familiar 3-3-5 defense – one with which his players were unfamiliar. The result – 522 yards allowed to Purdue, one of the poorest offensive teams in the Big 10, was the ultimate nadir of the defense’s season, and resulted in Michigan’s offense – struggling for large swaths of the season – scoring 42 points in a losing effort.

Maintaining “Tradition”

With Michigan making it’s first outside hire at coach since Bo Schembechler, there was some consternation in alumni circles that the hallowed traditions and “values” of the program would vanish.

Grade: 4 Molotovs. Rodriguez instituted a pre-game “Victors Walk”, and outwardly seemed to maintain every tradition that Michigan holds dear. Further, Rodriguez instituted a series of team dinners held at the homes of coaches, and the “Night of Champions” – an end-of-summer awards and competition night to honor the hard conditioning work put in by the players. The single tradition that Rodriguez didn’t maintain is likely the most important – winning.

Handling the Media

Lloyd Carr’s relationship with the sports media generally ranged from “adversarial” to “non-existent” – sometimes answering questions with a growled dismissal, or smiling pablum. Carr wanted the media as far away from his players and himself as possible, and generally succeeded. This was a point of acrimony for some, as the public’s knowledge of the inner-working of the program was negligible. Further, Rodriguez rode into Ann Arbor a voracious pack of innuendo-spouting journalists nipping as his heels. How did Rodriguez perform?

Grade: 3 Molotovs. It’s hard to envision a more difficult environment than the one that welcomed Rodriguez to Ann Arbor. West Virginia “journalists” ran stories about his abandonment of his team (done by every departing head coach since time began), his voiding of a signed contract (done by virtually every head coach ever), his “shredding of vital documents” (laughable, and disproved), and simply that he “made too much money” (arguable). This led to a hostile media environment in which Rodriguez admirably kept his composure, but occasionally allowed his frustration to slip through the cracks. On two occasions at post-game press-conferences, a visibly upset Rodriguez bemoaned the overall attitude of the press corps.

Rodriguez did, however, earn some friend in the media by opening practices, providing honest injury reports (blatant mistruths on these were a  Lloyd Carr staple), and generally granting more and closer access to the media as a whole. Rodriguez will continue to have a somewhat adversarial relationship with the media until he starts winning – but once he does, it appears that the ground has been cleared for a better relationship than the one held by Carr.

Avoiding a Potty-Mouth

Rodriguez’s language was Justin Boren’s excuse for his departure, and apparently offended some in an apocryphal story.

Grade: Ahhh…whatever, here’s the point, Comrades: The harshest criticisms of Rodriguez, generally, are fabricated Internet rumors rattling around the Internet ether. Someone knows somebody who heard Rodriguez curse, or an insider saw Rodriguez yell at a player – stories that are unverifiable, stripped of context, and impossibly petty.

The bourgeois “elite” of Michigan Stadium that holds Rodriguez at arms length decries that he’s a “hick” because he speaks with a twang, comes from West Virginia, and can’t possibly “understand” what coaching at Michigan means.  They claim he’s “uneducated” for the same reasons – or possibly because of his last name. They claim he “doesn’t understand” despite having not slaughtered a single one of Michigan’s numerous sacred cows – even the idiotic ones like “The Michigan Man”. They claim that he’s embarrassed the program through behavior – something for which there is literally no evidence. They seek to destroy our leader, comrades, and declare him a failure while he is still moving his troops into position for his first strike.

As this recap has intended to show – Rodriguez’s first season was not without fault. Hiring Shafer was a mistake, his seizure of the defense was a mistake, and he could have possibly been more concilatory with some existing players. He lets his frustration show at times. He hasn’t “embarassed” the names, traditions, or fans of Michigan. Expect the people crowing about his use of swears, his nebulous “lack of ethics”, and his lack of education (which is a complete fallacy) to become strangely silent as the win/loss column begins to even. Keep the faith, Comrades, and believe.

First, let us investigate the claim laid by invetigativve journalist par-excellence, Jim Carty. First, Carty claims that this season would have never occurred under dear departed Comrade Carr:

“Well, when’s the last time Carr lost to a MAC team? When’s the last time he lost to a 1-4 team?”

The answer, clearly, is never. However, Mr. Carty, when was the last time Coach Carr coached the 2008 Michigan Wolverines? Rodriguez did not coach Chad Henne, Tom Brady, Drew Henson, Michael Hart, Jake Long, or Charles Woodson. Jon Jansen, Steve Hutchinson, and Jeff Backus were not starting on this offensive line. Larry Foote and David Harris were not covering the running game and passing game simultaneously. No, this team returned a single offensive starter, something unmatched in Carr’s experience (when Henne and Hart started as freshmen, the other 9 offensive positions were occupied by returning starters). Would Carr have won more than 3 games with this team? Possibly. Would he have won enough to avoid making this the worst team in recent memory? No.

“Why keep calling plays – screens, passes to the flat, and certain inside runs – when the offensive line has looked incapable of blocking them for half a season now?

Leveling criticism is easy, especially when you offer no constructive alternative. Screens and passes to the flat are two of the “quickest” pass plays to call – what part of the mediocre offensive line play suggests that if they proved incapable of blocking for passes to the flat, they’d be able to block for a seven-step drop? If they can’t block inside runs, what suggests that they’d be able to hold their blocks longer in order to let the back get outside? To be fair to Mr. Carty, this column was written before the line’s bout of competency in the second half of the year – showing much greater success on the ground running the plays about with Carty complains.

The second meme – that Rodriguez has not “adapted” his offense, peddled by ignorant Detroit newspapers, is easier to disprove. In his final three years at West Virgina, Rich Rodriguez called the following run/pass splits:

2005: 74% run/26% pass.
2006: 70% run/30% pass.
2007: 69% run/31% pass.

3-year average: 71% run, 29% pass.

In the same time frame Michigan’s splits under Carr were as follows:

2005: 52% run, 48% pass.
2006: 59% run, 41% pass.
2007: 54% run, 46% pass.

3-year average: 55% run, 45% pass.

In his first year as coach of Michigan, Rodriguez called 55% run plays and 45% pass plays – identical to the 3-year average under Lloyd Carr. Clearly, the fact that the team trailed a disproportionate amount of the time skews these numbers towards the pass, so let’s examine what 1st half play-calling was, as the team was largely competitive in the first half of nearly every game:

56% run, 44% pass.

A very slight deviation from Michigan’s 3-year norm. This was, plainly, not Rodriguez’s WVU offense, and any claim to the contrary ignores all statistical evidence.

Comrades, as Brian at MGoBlog points out, this offense, despite a woefully inexperienced offensive line and the utter lack of a convincing down-field passing attack, was just as effective running the ball, as measured by yards-per-carry, as Michigan has traditionally been for the past eight seasons.

The offense, comrades, will work. Be patient, and give it time.

1. Collectivization of the Run

For years, Michigan football has relied on a star feature back to shoulder the load of the populace in the running game. This elitist structure has produced singular stars such as Anthony Thomas, Chris Perry, BJ Askew (I use the term star in a loose sense) and the incomparable Mike “The Bike” Hart.

Under the rule of Rodriguez, we will see the re-distribution of rushing yards to the proletariat. No longer will hand offs be hoarded by the aristocracy.

With a surplus of talented running backs scattered throughout the roster, we can expect to see a community effort to advance the pigskin into the end zone. Carlos Brown, Brandon Minor, and Kevin Grady will dominate the backfield politburo, with their experience and undeniable talent.

Comrade Brown was impressive at times last year, reigning in his fumbling tendencies when his unwieldy cast was tossed aside. Kevin Grady is a bowling ball that has yet to live up to the great success I envisioned for him when he became a Wolverine- but the strength and conditioning kung fu magic of Comrade Barwis will inevitably turn him into a 230 pound, solid muscle bruiser with a 3.7 40 time.

Freshman members of the party Sam McGuffie and Michael Shaw will wait in the wings for their time to shine, but McGuffie will remind us all of Noel Devine in his limited action.

Rodriguez is not averse to accumulating rushing wealth in the hands of the few, if he finds it in the best interests of the republic. Patrick White and Steve Slaton have handled the vast majority of rushing attempts in their seasons, with Runaway Beer Truck Owen Schmidtt chipping in occasionally.

But with no true star at the position in Ann Arbor, I believe the upcoming seasons to mirror earlier WVU campaigns, barring the emergence of a Slaton or White. In 2004, Kay Jay Harris, Rasheed Marshall, and Jason Colson split carries (165, 169, 142) for WVU- who rushed 590 times. Compare to Mike Hart in the same 2004 season, who ran 282 of 481 attempts for Michigan. Second place was a tie between Max Martin and Jerome Jackson at 32.

2. Industrialization of the Scoring Offense

Under previous ruler Mike Debord, there was much made about the scoring offense. This refers to the maddening tendency (-real or not, although there was an excellent post at iBlogforCookies which showed it was probably real that I cannot find right now because I’m too dumb to navigate the archives-) to only score when the Coaching Regime deemed “necessary”, as opposed to “whenever possible”.

Michigan, beginning in 2004, has scored 370-345-380-354 points. Remarkably consistent. West Virginia has scored 361-385-505-515 points. Rich Rodriguez will score when Rich Rodriguez can score, and that will be early, often, and hard.

We have fallen behind the point producing machines of the college football landscape, and now we will climb back up and surpass them. With the superior soldiers of the Michigan corps, Comrade Rodriguez will have to physically restrain himself from scoring 120 points against MSU.

3. Prosperity

In his previous residence, Comrade Rodriguez was held back by an aggressively ignorant populace, a corrupt administration, and lack of monetary funds.

In his new residence, he will be met with aggressively wealthy fans, a less corrupt administration, and a surplus of budget. With the construction of the Grand Kremlin of Michigan Football complete and the money from the party elite rolling in, Michigan will be able to purchase only the best in goods for the republic and its leader.

A happy, well fed, and sufficiently compensated Rodriguez will be a dangerous Rodriguez. No longer looking over his shoulder to ensure that no toothless GED program dropout is siphoning gas from his University car, Rodriguez will be able to devote all his energy to new and innovative ways to crush his foes under the boot heel of the Wolverines.

4. Success

Will Michigan win a BCS Championship in the first Three Year Plan? Logic says this is unlikely, as the team transitions into its new era.

However, Jim Tressell, Pete Carroll, Bob Stoops, Larry Coker, Urban Meyer, and Les Miles all won BCS Titles within their first three seasons at their respective schools.

Therefore, it is guaranteed Michigan will be a BCS Champion by the end of the first Three Year Plan.