This is a fire. It’s made of burning AIDS, Swine Flu, Bubonic Plague, Ebola, and your own sorrowful shame. It’s for you to fucking die in.

Not all of you. Some of you showed up. If you showed up, we’ll have some new cool shit and penis jokes for you. For those that had tickets, and sold them, to people currently making the stadium louder on OSU plays, making the stadium more red than Maize or Blue – jump in this fucking fire. Now.

It’s senior day. Brandon Graham has played at maximum effort, valiantly, all day. Mark Ortmann and David Moosman have largely protected Tate Forcier well. It’s their last day, their last moment in a Michigan uniform, on the field of Michigan Stadium, and you fair-weathered, contemptable assholes have turned this into a road game for them.

This isn’t about liking Rich Rodriguez. This isn’t even about SUPPORTING Rich Rodriguez. This is about seeing this Senior Class that has worn the Michigan uniform for four or five years off  – thanking them for the hours of entertainment they’ve provided your thankless, pathetic asses for half a decade.

“But Michigan is bad”, “I don’t want to sit in the cold and watch them lose again”, “Rodriguez is an embarassment” – fuck you. Fuck you with a barbed-wire baseball bat. Give me your fucking tickets – or anyone who cheers for Michigan, not just a winner.

This will likely be one of this blog’s last posts in it’s current incarnation, and I cannot think of a better send-off.

Michigan fans: many of you are spineless, entitled, fair-weather bitches. Show some respect to the kids you profess to cheer for. On many kids’ final game in the Big House, you have embarassed Michigan more than this team ever has on the field – you turned Michigan Stadium into a pro-OSU crowd, and it makes us, as a blog, completely fucking sick.

Tugboat_Terrence: fuck yes i do. and u always pick that fuckin waluigi. i dont even know who that bitch is

STEVIE_brWONDER: he’s a misunderstood outcast and you should recognize his potent symbolism

Tugboat_Terrence: yea kinda like kong represents my ability to wreck bitches

STEVIE_brWONDER: have you even considered the racist implications of that statement?

Threet_Level_Midnite: but if he picked bowser it’d have the same meaning – except now he’s a green lizard instead of an ape, so would it be less racist? isn’t it more racist to base your judgment on the color of the video game avatar he picks?

Threet_Level_Midnite: all things considered a barrel throwing monkey is a lot cooler than an authoritarian lizard with a predilection for kidnapping the same princess over and over.

MinorPayne: what the fuck, donkey kong kidnapped the princess too you idiot.

STEVIE_brWONDER: true but he only took over a construction site. that’s far less tyrannical than enslaving an entire kingdom of midget queers like toad.

Threet_Level_Midnite: what possible evidence do you have that toad is gay?

Tugboat_Terrence: are we gonna fuckin play this

Tugboat_Terrence: i got a hot pocket in the george foreman and its gonna burn this fuckin hacienda down in like 9 minutes

STEVIE_brWONDER: can i drive this time terrence or what, I’m sick of standing on the back of the car the whole race

Tugboat_Terrence: fuck no

MinorPayne: i ain’t playing star road. i can’t stay on the fuckin track.

**UMichFrosh12** has entered the room

UMichFrosh12: You guys have got to be kidding me!

MinorPayne: who is this bitch

Threet_Level_Midnite: I think he lives down the hall

UMichFros12: Are you seriously playing double dash? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, practicing? YOU FUCKING SUCK!

STEVIE_brWONDER: damn that’s cold

Tugboat_Terrence: shit dawg i musta missed u out there today while barwis was throwing twinkies across the field and laughin and laughin when i ran after them for forty five minutes

STEVIE_brWONDER: or when i had to tackle every single player three times before we could go home

Threet_Level_Midnite: or when rich made me cry during film

MinorPayne: fuck man i don’t even wanna talk about the fumble wolf

UMichFrosh12: Well maybe you should practice more still! IT’S EMBARRASSING TO ME!

Incarcerated_Butler: Yo

MinorPayne: sup carson

Incarcerated_Butler: who this

UMFrosh12: you suck too!

Incarcerated_Butler: yo skinny u seen my iron

UMFrosh12: No..?

Incarcerated_Butler: o thats right i got it right here

***Incarcerated_Butler has hit UMFrosh12 with an iron***

Tugboat_Terrence: nice

Threet_Level_Midnite: awww check it out bitches I got a blue shell you are going DOWN

MinorPayne: DUDE

MinorPayne: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SHOOT THAT DIRECTLY INTO THE WALL I DIDNT THINK IT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE TO MISS WITH THAT

Threet_Level_Midnite: I just hit the button? I don’t know, man! I DON’T KNOW!

Tugboat_Terrence: dawg we about to win u better not fuck up

STEVIE_brWONDER: i’m a great driver

Tugboat_Terrence: did u seriously just spin out for no reason in front of the finish line and lose

Tugboat_Terrence: like did that seriously happen

STEVIE_brWONDER: i need a hug

Incarcerated_Butler: who wants to go rob blue front wit me