Wolverine Liberation Army

Iowa – The land of corn, tequila and the Mall of America is our football team’s destination this weekend. For those of you following the team’s movements with a flight or car trip of your own, the WLA Board of Foreign Travels has put together a fact sheet for you. We assume that everyone knows that Iowa City was the birthplace of Cleopatra and Gonorrhea but here are a few facts that you might not know.

1. Osama Bin Laden winters in Iowa City

In his most recent tape aired on Al-Jazeera Osama Bin Laden let loose a few nuggets of information about where he’s been hiding since he became Public Enemy No. 1. The most pertinent of information came as no surprise to the western world, Osama Bin Laden has a place in downtown Iowa City. Now, I’m not linking the city to terrorism. That wouldn’t be right. Iowa City is home to some of the most rabidly patriotic people on the planet. Big Bin Daddy, as he is known throughout the Iowa club scene, just likes the nightlife. And for that we can’t blame him. Who could resist the trappings and extravagances of America’s Breadbasket? From what I hear he plays a mean 4 Square and loves spare ribs. Go figure.

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Confession time.

I did something early on Saturday that I rarely do, and I’m not proud. I must confess my Crimes to the Revolution: I texted several Sparty fans with less than encouraging words in defeat.

It was a cheap revenge for Appalachian State. A projection of my own inner Michigan Man angst and superiority complex onto people in a time of great sadness. It was, in all honesty, a cheap shot.

Because I was obviously the most important concern of the Fates that day, it was almost guaranteed that Tate Forcier and Michigan would not pull this comeback off. The timing was too perfect. By fore-saking the ideals of fandom we hold dear here, I had brought upon the defeat of the Revolution.

Forever in my own mind there would be the guilt that I’d ruined the man we’d all fought so hard for. I would have to commit football suicide, leave behind Michigan, and cast my lot as bitter, unbiased observer. Six figure paychecks from ESPN to rail on the darling of the week and generate “debate” while flinging feces balls called opinions at the camera would console me, but Michigan would be dead to me. After months of preaching, I’d broken my own laws. I’d gone to battle for Rich Rod and the Revolution, and turned my back when I had the chance to prove my loyalty. Unacceptable.

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